Since I bought my home 2.5 years I have had a string of flatmates. Always starts out great but within weeks it descends into minimum chat which often feels forced. There were many times that I bitched about my flatmates or just thought negatively about them, that they were lazy with cleaning and locking doors or inconsiderate for this and that. But today I decided it was time to own the fact that I was the common denominator. I decided to take full responsibility and consider how my behaviour was the cause of theirs.

My contemplation only took a few seconds to see that because I was sooo fixated on bringing my business project ideas to fruition so I can live off the income, I habitually shut myself in my room for all hours of the day and night and gave them next to zero social time with me. Imagine a hermit for a flatmate... that was me.

So I had unintentially lied in my advert for a flatmate. I had indicated that I was more socialable than I was actually being. By not hanging out with my flatmates, I can see how they might have thought I was avoiding them and therefore start constructing negative sentiments about me. Then in feeling their negative energy I began constructing my own negative thoughts about them and exuding that energy! A downward spiral that feeds off each other.... all of my own doing.

So it is time to make a choice:
A) Continue as I am and accept our negative energy and potentially snarky comments.
B) Stop my negative thoughts about them, focus on their good points, invite them to kick a ball in the park, watch a movie, share a packet of crisps and offer a drink.

Obviously I chose B.

I feel confident that just stopping my own negative thoughts it will have a tremendous impact on our flatmate-ship because our thoughts set the tone and energy behind our spoken words and actions.

I'm taking a break from posting for the next 3 days unless I have some momentous realisations or learnings.

About the Author

Mark J Reynolds

17 years of soul searching lead me to discover that what lights me up the most also gives me huge amounts of energy. Efficiency and promoting others is a challenge and a passion that permeates through everything I do.

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