Since I bought my home 2.5 years I have had a string of flatmates. Always starts out great but within weeks it descends into minimum chat which often feels forced. There were many times that I bitched about my flatmates or just thought negatively about them, that they were lazy with cleaning and locking doors or inconsiderate for this and that. But today I decided it was time to own the fact that I was the common denominator. I decided to take full responsibility and consider how my behaviour was the cause of theirs.

My contemplation only took a few seconds to see that because I was sooo fixated on bringing my business project ideas to fruition so I can live off the income, I habitually shut myself in my room for all hours of the day and night and gave them next to zero social time with me. Imagine a hermit for a flatmate... that was me.

So I had unintentially lied in my advert for a flatmate. I had indicated that I was more socialable than I was actually being. By not hanging out with my flatmates, I can see how they might have thought I was avoiding them and therefore start constructing negative sentiments about me. Then in feeling their negative energy I began constructing my own negative thoughts about them and exuding that energy! A downward spiral that feeds off each other.... all of my own doing.

So it is time to make a choice:
A) Continue as I am and accept our negative energy and potentially snarky comments.
B) Stop my negative thoughts about them, focus on their good points, invite them to kick a ball in the park, watch a movie, share a packet of crisps and offer a drink.

Obviously I chose B.

I feel confident that just stopping my own negative thoughts it will have a tremendous impact on our flatmate-ship because our thoughts set the tone and energy behind our spoken words and actions.

I'm taking a break from posting for the next 3 days unless I have some momentous realisations or learnings.

About the Author

Mark J Reynolds

17 years of soul searching led me to discover that what lights me up the most also gives me huge amounts of energy. Efficiency and shining the spotlight on others is a passion that permeates through everything I do.

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