Delusions Of Grandeur

At the age of 27 I began loathing my career in IT Support and romanticising about starting a business so I could be my own boss. Little did I know the long uphill slog I was about to face in rising to that challenge.

My first mistake was in dreaming too big too early. For at least 12 years I suffered from delusions of grandeur as I mocked up one PowerPoint presentation after another, naively thinking I would inspire developer talent to invest time and effort into building my lofty ideas.  

I soon realised I had a whole swag of limiting beliefs holding me back and a lot of inner work ahead of me. The inner work began with several Reiki healing sessions which was the equivalent of taking the blue pill in The Matrix movie. Vividly re-experiencing traumatic past life and early childhood memories was the start of my epic journey within! 

In the delight and curiosity of all things metaphysical, over the next 5 years I went deep with the Law Of Attraction and the vast majority of my beliefs were overhauled through Theta Healing.

That Special Something

As I look back now at my many swings at the plate of trying to start a business so that I could be my own boss, the struggle makes sense. You see, I spent 40 years searching outside of myself for that special something of immense value that would bring me success. In the end, I discovered that special something was already within me and it was there all along!

The Law Of Attraction helped me to understand that I needed to use my passions to help others to do the thing I desired for myself.

However it still took another 3 years to recognise that:

Out Of Alignment

The problem...

1. I was focused on starting a 'business' when I should have been focused on just having a meaningful impact RIGHT NOW.
2. My mind was in control and I didn't know any better.
3. My ideas weren't grounded in the unique wisdom and gifts I was incarnated to share.
4. I wasn't operating in the way I was divinely designed.

The Silver Lining

The Law Of Attraction taught me there is no such thing as FAILURE. If I learnt something, I didn't fail. 

For every one of my attempts at starting a business I made ridiculous amounts of mistakes in all areas. I refused, ignored, misinterpreted and bastardised perfectly good advice.

Fortunately, for every mistake I made, I now understand why it was a mistake. If you tell me to do something without explaining the "WHY" behind it, that just doesn't work for me. My mind can't appreciate the advice until I understand WHY it is the right advice. And I often gain that understanding by first doing everything that is wrong!

The point of all my adversity is to recognise, integrate and be grateful for the lesson being taught.

Enter the Gene Keys

In May 2021 I was introduced to the Gene Keys and after generating my chart I was presented with a diagram with lots of circles, numbers and names. To find out what this all meant I purchased the Gene Keys ebooks and began to synthesise the author's extremely deep and detailed contemplations into short summarises that I could easily re-read and contemplate. 

The outcome of the 3 sequences (Genius, Love & Prosperity) was transformation, conscious awareness of my unconscious traits and a selection criteria to compare future ideas against. The latter being the most profound.

The Gene Keys help us to understand HOW we are designed to operate such that everything will become effortless and fulfilling if we fully surrendered to it. The challenge is that some concepts may fly in the face of traditional business and thus can require a huge and prolonged leap of faith. 

By applying the Gene Keys to your life in complete surrender, you will essentially be embracing Conscious Business.

Enter Human Design

In June 2021 I became very intrigued by Human Design which the Gene Keys is based on. In generating my chart I found out I was a Pure Manifesting Generator. To find out what this meant and how to read the chart I took a fellow Manifesting Generator's advice and checked out Nadia Quinn's Tiktok Channel, to which I became immediately hooked and proceeded to binge on her first 50 videos. I then listened to the DayLuna podcast episode on Manifesting Generators and that gave me a tremendous understanding and appreciation for how I'm designed to operate in this world.

By this stage I was so fascinated and obsessed with applying my design that I decided to surrender to it and journal about the experience. You can  begin reading it here.

As I reflect on my life struggles and glance over my chart yet again, there is no doubt that where I am today is exactly where I'm meant to be. Nothing spells out my life struggles more than my Human Design Not Self Themes:

• Feeling unworthy and undervalued. (Heart)
• Avoiding confrontation and truth. (Solar Plexus)
• Fixated on finding love and direction. (Identity)

Where To From Here?

While I've experienced many accurate readings from the fields of Psychic Mediumship, Numerology, Astrology, StrengthsFinder, Wealth Dynamics, Myer Briggs and the Enneagram, none were as intricately on point and ACTIONABLE as the Strategy, Authority and Type of our Human Design. It's no wonder it is referred to as 'the missing Blueprint for how we were designed to operate'.

Thanks also goes to my Gene Keys profile for I now understand why my online and offline ideas all revolve around shining a light on the talents of others. This trait has led me to:

1. Share my Dig Your Diamonds Exercise which combines a series of DEEP Questions to unearth the SPECIFIC work that's calling you.
2. Start a Manifesting Generator Facebook Group to share insights and resources, and host community events.
3. Relentlessly apply my design and share my insights to guide Manifesting Generators on how to follow their feelings to fulfilment.
4. Create the KaHuna Australia online directory for KaHuna & Lomi Lomi Bodyworkers.
5. Write a blog to track my Manifesting Generator journey.